Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize