I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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