he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
