I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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