With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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