True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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