I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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