goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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