What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
