Pappa wants mamma naked
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
