Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
