you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
