I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
