literally had 100 drinks last night.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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