Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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