How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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