"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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