i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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