The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
