Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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