Someone shit on the floor
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
