He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
