In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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