Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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