if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
