just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
