So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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