I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
