Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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