We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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