dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
