I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
