I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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