Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
