The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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