Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize