Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
