Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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