and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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