oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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