you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
well you can't waste a boner
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
