your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
