I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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