Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
