I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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