Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
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is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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