it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
