I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
