She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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