even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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