So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
