brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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