Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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