Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
